Once is chance. Twice is odd. Three times is information.

A short guide to noticing when someone keeps showing up where they have no reason to be, and what to do about it.

You already read patterns

You recognise things faster than you can explain them. A cap, a walk, the shape of a car. The second time you see it, you feel a small jolt before you know why.

That jolt is worth a note, not a verdict. Brains also find patterns in noise. So notice, compare it with what is normal for you, write it down, then decide.

Three years in one house

Say you have lived in the same place for three years. Each dot is one day. Five rows make a year.

Scroll slowly.

Day 1Nobody has sat outside your door.

You move in. You look at everything.

Then one morning

Nothing in those 1,095 days was a warning sign. That is the point. You know your quiet, so one stranger on the wall across from your door stands out. Here is how the next weeks could go. It is an invented example.

Day 1,096 · 07:40
A man sits on the low wall opposite your door. Grey jacket, no bag, no phone. He faces your window.
Day 1,098 · 18:05
Same grey jacket, in the queue at the corner shop. He leaves without buying anything.
Day 1,101 · 22:30
A dark hatchback you have never seen here, engine running, someone inside. Still there at one in the morning.
Day 1,104 · 13:20
A neighbour says a man asked her which flat is yours.

Alone, each of these is nothing. Together they are a pattern, and your baseline broke first. If every sighting needs a new coincidence to explain it, stop explaining.

What counts as strange

Different from your normal, repeated, and tied to you. One of these alone proves nothing.

Many people who do this are not strangers. An ex, a coworker or a neighbour is more common. They repeat: same route, same hour, a little more each time.

Someone waits near your home or work for no clear reason.
The same person or car shows up in places that have nothing to do with each other.
A parked car with someone in it, for hours.
They know your schedule or where you go, and you never told them.
Messages or gifts you didn't ask for, especially after you said no.
A new account that watches or likes everything you post.
Someone tells you a person has been asking about you.
Your phone warns you about a tracker you don't recognise.

Never stalk someone with ADHD.

They might have thought about this last night. They might notice you whenever you do it. They can notice without looking, just walking home. They can know you are there.

Better yet, don't stalk anyone.

If it is happening to you

Write it down. Date, time, place, what you saw. Facts, not feelings. Keep every message and screenshot.
Don't confront them and don't reply. Any answer can read as encouragement.
Vary your route and hours a little. Switch off location tags and live sharing. Check your bag and car for trackers.
If someone is behind you, go somewhere busy and lit. Don't go home.
Tell someone who will take you seriously: a friend, a neighbour, the building manager.
You don't have to be sure to ask for help. Take your log to the police.

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